i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize