Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
