...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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