i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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