Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm really busy with my period
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