what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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