Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
