idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
