That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just had sex on a roof
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
