can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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