Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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