Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
this boner is exhausting
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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