I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
