Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
