you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
