That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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