is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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