Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
