Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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