She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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