It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
A+ Viking dick
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
