dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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