He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
