the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
