Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
