I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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