If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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