A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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