is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize