I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
