You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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