I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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