So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
so much tequila, so little girl.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
