Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
