Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
