He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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