she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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