Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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