i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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