if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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