they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
