What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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