let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
