you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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