why didn't you poke me back
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
