That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
