I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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