dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
