you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize