How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
