Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
