I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
