Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
