Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
