Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
