you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize