he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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