just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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