I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
