either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
