In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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