State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
